Jesus Christ Is the Answer

Finding Strength When Life Tries to Break You

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This post is based on a devotional address given at Brigham Young University, February 4, 2025, by Elder Kevin R. Duncan, a General Authority Seventy of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. The principles and experiences shared in this post are drawn from his powerful testimony and personal experiences.

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Have you ever had one of those mornings where you're so tired your brain isn't working right? Like, maybe almost shaving off your eyebrow?

That's exactly how Elder Kevin R. Duncan's powerful message begins. But this small, relatable moment of exhaustion sets the stage for something much deeper - a profound journey through heartbreak, healing, and the discovery that Jesus Christ truly is the answer to life's most challenging trials.

Divine Preparation in Unexpected Places

God works in mysterious ways, but sometimes those ways aren't mysterious at all - they're surprisingly direct. Just days before losing his wife in a tragic accident, Elder Duncan found himself on a long drive with a friend where their conversation unexpectedly turned to how one might cope with losing a spouse.

"Looking back," he reflected, "I realized that God, in His infinite kindness and understanding, had been preparing me for this moment."

Think about that for a second.

What if those seemingly random conversations, unexpected detours, or chance encounters in your life aren't random at all? What if they're divine preparation for what's coming?

This kind of spiritual foresight isn't just comforting - it's transformative. It reminds us that we're never truly flying blind, even when life seems to be spiraling out of control.

When Your World Shatters in an Instant

For Elder Duncan, everything changed at a stop sign. Another driver's mistake left him a widower with a seven-month-old daughter named Aubrey.

Can you imagine?

One moment, life is full of promise. The next, you're alone, grieving, and solely responsible for a tiny human who depends on you completely.

With little experience caring for an infant, Duncan established a grueling routine: early mornings, classes at BYU, part-time work at the MTC, and caring for his daughter. It was exhausting, overwhelming, and often lonely.

But the real breaking point came during finals week. Aubrey developed pneumonia and was hospitalized. Duncan described seeing his baby girl "so small and fragile under that oxygen tent—laboring for every breath, her little face pale and struggling."

It broke him in ways he "didn't know were possible."

Here's the rub - in that moment of extreme vulnerability, the crushing weight of inadequacy fell on him. Had he somehow failed his daughter? Was her illness the result of his shortcomings as a parent?

But through this heartbreaking experience, he discovered an essential truth: "Christ's grace isn't about us being perfect. It's about trusting in and relying on Him when you're at your lowest and letting His strength carry you through."

Finding Your Place When You Don't Fit Anywhere

One of the most relatable parts of Elder Duncan's story is the sense of not belonging. As a single father, he struggled to find his place in church.

In singles wards, he stood out with a baby. In family wards, his incomplete family felt conspicuous.

"I just didn't quite fit in," he admitted. "I kept coming back. I needed to be there—for myself and for Aubrey. I needed the strength of the sacrament... But it was hard; it was really hard."

Does that resonate with you? That feeling of being a puzzle piece in the wrong puzzle?

Through this struggle, Elder Duncan realized something beautiful: "The Church isn't a showroom for the perfect. It's a hospital for the spiritually weary, for the lonely, and for anyone who feels like they don't belong—which I now realize is just about everyone at some point in their life."

In a world obsessed with curated social media perfection, this honest acknowledgment is like a breath of fresh air. Seeking Christ doesn't mean having everything figured out.

It means bringing our messy, broken selves to Him for healing.

And sometimes, that healing comes through unexpected people. For Brother Duncan, it was the kindness extended of Carl (a security guard at the BYU Bookstore) and Sister Bonnie H. Cordon (yes, that Sister Cordon who later became the Young Women general president) while occasionally team teaching with her in a part-time job at the MTC that helped him feel seen and valued during his darkest days.

When the Sun Rises Again

After more than two years of grief and growth, hope emerged in an unexpected place—a biology class. Elder Duncan noticed Nancy, and "it felt as if the world lit up and time paused."

But how do you ask someone out when you're a single dad? What if she, like others, politely declined once she learned about his daughter?

So Duncan embarked on what he now laughingly calls a "covert operation." He spotted Nancy's name on her paper, searched for her contact information through the library's microfiche system (remember those?), and then, by divine coincidence, they finished a biology test at the exact same time.

This led to a conversation, a study group invitation, and eventually, the nerve-wracking moment of revealing his situation as a single father.

Nancy's response? She casually mentioned having recently dated another single father who also had a daughter named Aubrey.

What are the odds of that?

When Nancy and Aubrey met, "it was magic." Their instant connection became the foundation for a beautiful blended family that continues to this day.

Though difficult to accept in the moment, the simple truth and distilled country wisdom is this:

Trials, while painful, don't define our entire journey. Sometimes they're preparing us for blessings we can't even imagine yet.

The Healing Power Available to All of Us

The beauty of Elder Duncan's message is that it transcends his personal experience. Jesus Christ's invitation remains constant: "Have ye any that are sick among you... bring them hither and I will heal them" (3 Nephi 17:7).

This healing isn't just for physical ailments. It's for emotional wounds, spiritual struggles, and life's deepest trials.

As President Jeffrey R. Holland reminded us, "Christ knows better than all others that the trials of life can be very deep..." but because He has "suffered pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind," He can "reach us and strengthen us to be more than we could ever be" through our own power alone.

In our anxiety-filled world, where depression and suffering have become increasingly common, this message of Christ's healing power isn't just nice—it's necessary. It offers hope that our pain isn't meaningless and that, through the Savior, we can find strength beyond our natural capacity.

So What Does This Mean for You?

Many points in Elder Duncan’s devotional address stirred my soul. Here are a few questions you may want to ponder:

• Where have you seen God's preparatory hand in your life?

• What current trials might actually be opportunities to draw closer to the Savior?

• How has Christ's healing power manifested in your personal experiences?

• Where do you feel you don't "fit in," and how might Christ be reaching you there?

The world today offers countless solutions for life's challenges—self-help strategies, technological innovations, medical advancements, and more. While these resources have their place, Elder Duncan's testimony points to a deeper truth: Jesus Christ is the ultimate answer.

Whether you're facing loss, uncertainty, inadequacy, or isolation, the Savior offers not just comfort but transformation. He doesn't merely help you endure challenges; He works through them to shape you into something greater than you could become on your own.

As Elder Duncan testifies, "Christ's love is perfect and always within reach. He will never leave you to walk this life alone if you strive to walk with Him."

In a world of complex problems, this simple truth might be the most profound solution of all.*

Thanks for reading and pondering with me!

Russell Anderson

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Click on the hyperlink to read or listen to Elder Duncan’s entire speech.

Or watch it on YouTube.

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I enjoy reading and listening to talks from General Conference and BYU Devotionals.

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